The school year is finally off to a start, for parents this can be both a blessing and a curse and for myself it's both. I will not be getting the parent of the year award as I realized just recently that I did not even post a pic of my son on his first day of school, not a pic or even a mention of it. My facebook feed was overflowing recently with everyone posting pics of their kids going to the bus and when I scroll back through I realize that it appears I was the only one that left that piece of life empty. I was much better at all that stuff when my boys were younger and gosh even last year I think my wife captured the moment. If anyone has teenagers you may understand that this capturing the first day of back to school gets harder, especially if you have a teen boy that hates having his picture taken. Which is the case for myself and probably also a fast excuse that I just plain did not jump on this particular train.
Well I will update you on the progress, that in fact my son did make it the first day, and even was able to catch the bus. That is definitely a win here for my kid as getting the bus and actually being on time for pick up is a huge struggle for him. So why most of you parents were posting pics of your kids going off and wishing them a great year, I was at work txting mine, Please I beg you do not miss the bus and oh yeah have a good day. Love you
This is suppose to be his last year, and I have no idea if it will actually be. He is very relaxed and calm about it and my wife and I just want it to actually happen. I am actually completely out of the loop when people ask me what grade he is in I say grade 12 ( but he takes courses from all grades, so how do I actually know what to respond with) Oh he is in grade 10, 11 and 12 seriously folks it is much easier to say, grade 12. I love getting the school supplies, I love buying the pencils and all the cool supplies out there. My kid even made this task less enjoyable for me this year because his book bag looked literally untouched from from last year, except for all the papers of uncompleted assignments. Once all that mess was removed, he pretty much had everything he needed. To be quite honest I believe his calculator was in the exact same spot as I put it last year. But then again why would he even use it as he has one on his phone so why I even bothered to put one in there is beyond me. I am doing some great parental support this year and so far am making sure he has at least new pencils and pens. Oh and I actually have been making sure he has a packed lunch. (complete with sandwich) so maybe I am rocking it as a parent, actually maybe not cause this morning I just threw in snacks. Let me be honest, I had lots of time to make a sandwich, just didn't. In my defense I asked if he wanted one he responded with, No mom it's fine. (also in my defense he likes to use his money at the cafeteria) I'm also not one of those parents that post on fb how great my kids marks are, and there's a perfectly good reason for that because half the time he doesn't even complete his assignments let alone hand them in. Trust me I know this from cleaning out his book bag for this current school year. If I would have been able to take all those papers and handed them in myself for him on the first day of school this year, he would have probably passed all his courses last year with flying colors as the teachers would have had an actual paper to grade. This is thus the struggle of any school year for me and which is why I say school can be a blessing and a curse. There is so much stress on pushing our kids to get the best grades to achieve the highest level of success in everything that they do, but this also puts a great deal of stress on parents. People want to be the best parent so there is that fine line of constantly asking yourself am I too laid back, not strict enough, too strict, doing this, doing that, doing too much and doing too little. Why do we feel the need to be so damn hard on ourselves and think we have failed ourselves and or our kids. Winston Churchill wrote, Success is not final, failure is not fatal, it is the courage to continue that counts. Well if that has any truth to it then my kid definitely has that, cause he continues despite the fact that he may not graduate this year, but he still got up and went to school today. He is fully aware that this is up to him and if he isn't stressing then why am I. My kid doesn't know what he wants to do when he finishes school and has often said that how is he expected to know when he is only 16. There is much truth to that, not everyone does know and that is something I can not decide for him nor can his school. Who am I too judge, I wanted to be a nurse all my life and did just that up until recently when I quit. Made a huge life change in a minute decision. I know you are waiting for my there's g2b a better way approach to this school thing for both myself and my child and it is not going to be some eye opening advice or some amazing words of encouragement cause it is certainly not. In fact it is not really anything amazing at all. It is just quite simply me allowing him the space to find his way. To encourage him, offer support and love. To me that is the better way. He will know that I think he is amazing whether this is he last year or not. Whether he passes or fails. That success is not based on the grades, or the job or the pay. Minds can be changed, life's direction changes and he is not a tree the last time I checked so he is not stuck to anything or to any place. I myself am a perfect example to that as I am still on a new journey and my path is set to no destination except one that brings me joy and makes a positive deposit to my life and not a withdrawal. Today my son new that I was home not really feeling the best from a small medical procedure yesterday. But he got up on his own, got ready for school and got to the bus. I did go out for a moment and when I passed him walking to the bus, I rolled down the window, and said hey you want a drive, and he looked at me and said with a smile, no mom it's okay (could have been cause I was half put together lol), but he looked at me and said, love you mom. So I must say that my kid may not graduate this year, he may not get honors or awards for different things. And I am ok with that. He may in fact not even have the best attendance for the year. (I think he already missed one day) But I can tell you this, I have a son that is turning 17 this month and let me tell you a bit about this kid. Hates school, loves soccer and racing games. If he calls you bro that means he loves you. If he tells you supper tasted like shit, it means he loved it. He makes us laugh on the daily, he is kind and caring. He is both introverted and extroverted. He smiles, and is also in pissy moods at times. He is respectful. Acts tough but actually has a real soft heart. Swears like a sailor, but always with a smile. Pretends on the daily to use me as a punching bag. When I walk by him, he says wait mom and then throws these punches, (that never land) complete with sound effects and I stand there while he pretends to drop me as if we are in some fighting match. He says, good morning and goodnight He is trusting. Really he is just a perfectly, imperfect human. He has no five year plan, at this point no plan at all. But he is happy, and shows love. And for me that is enough. With everything going on in the world today, if you have a kid that is happy-go-lucky then I think we as parents all deserve the parent of the year award. Not just the parent, the kiddos also as they deserve kid of the year award. If in this day and age with all the stresses in life you have a kid that is happy and kind and caring, then pat these kiddos on the back and give them praise because they are already on the right path in their journey of life. I hope that if anything my son learns living a simple life is the goal, a life you do not need a vacay from. That success is not measure by what you have or what you do. The size of the house and or car means absolutely nothing if you aren't happy inside. That your intelligence is not determined by your report card. And living your best life and happiness is not determined by things, experiences both good and bad are needed to guide you, and shape you into who you will become. Taking the wrong path is not a failure, remember there's g2b a better way and find it. Thank for reading folks. I will end this with a quote from Arthur MCAuliff : If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving is NOT for you! (lol a little life advice)
Have a great school year parents and kiddos
Rhonda Roy (There's G2B A Better Way, itsnowornever.ca)